


Interview with the One and Only MermaidMayonnaise

by EphemeralSonder (MermaidMayonnaise)



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Interview, Meta, One of the most self-indulgent things I have ever done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 00:40:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21988435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MermaidMayonnaise/pseuds/EphemeralSonder
Summary: I was on fanlore looking someone up and instead found these series of interviews that authors in the SGA fandom did from 2007 to 2012. I read the questions for 2011, and suddenly I really wanted to answer them for myself.Not a story, but I'm trying to figure out my Sheppard and McKay, so if you like meta then check it out.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 7





	Interview with the One and Only MermaidMayonnaise

I like writing fic. Really, I do. I just like talking about myself and analyzing the hell out of my current hyperfixations more. Because when else in my life will I know as much as I do about the fandom than I do now?

I was on fanlore looking someone up and instead, I found these series on interviews that authors in the SGA fandom did from 2007 to 2012. Having too much time on my hands, I started looking for author’s names that I recognized. Then, I read the questions for 2011, and suddenly I really wanted to answer them for myself. Mainly because everyone chose Sheppard over McKay. Not to name names but oh, velocitygrass, how I admired you, but you betrayed me. Here’s the link if you really want it. [ https://fanlore.org/wiki/McShep_Match_Interview_Series#Team_McKay.2C_Team_Sheppard:_2011 ](https://fanlore.org/wiki/McShep_Match_Interview_Series#Team_McKay.2C_Team_Sheppard:_2011) Click “link” for 2011. It’ll take you to livejournal. I seriously encourage you to check them out-- they’re a lot shorter than mine.

Anywho, here they are. Interview with the newly minted SGA writer/artist MermaidMayonnaise! 

  1. What was your first fandom?



This is a tricky question. I didn’t really know fandom existed, having only been given free rein on the internet a few years ago. All I knew was that my weird middle school friend Shmi wrote extremely terrible My Little Pony porn. It was on paper and illustrated. Oh, the memories.

My first obsession was probably Harry Potter. I read the series seven times. In fact, I was so young when I read it that I didn’t really understand how relationships worked. I thought Harry was in love with Hermione, and one of the biggest betrayals in my entire life was the epilogue, where Harry was shown with his and Ginny’s kids.

My first active fandom… this is complicated. In retrospect, it was DHMIS. You know, those stupid shorts on the internet. Objects sing terrible songs and it gets weird real fast. I watched the videos so many times I had the entire series memorized. I had fan theories. I just didn’t know where to go with my obsession. I went on Wattpad, which was a huge mistake. Scarred, I shirked away from fandom for a while.

Then I discovered AO3. Actually, I knew about it a few years before and thought it was weird. I only got the courage to make an account in July 2018, but in reality I had been popping into the archive since the beginning of the year. I thought the police were going to come for me. Then came a deluge of small fandoms, as I discovered how the archive worked. Also, porn. I had no idea that other people wanted the other characters to have sex as much as I wanted them too. There is so much E-rated fic. So. Much.

Somewhere along the way, I accidentally watched Be More Chill. That opened the floodgates. Suddenly, I was drawing fanart like I was going to die. It was later summer 2018. I read fanfic nonstop. I think I must’ve read all of the good fanfiction, and most of the terrible ones as well. (The fandom was mostly high schoolers, with some college students who carried the fandom. But seriously. Have you ever read smut written by people who tag it as smut?)

Then, after inhaling 600k of fic, I realized that, woah. A lot of this is terrible. I could do better than that. And that, and, ugh, _that._ Spurred by indignant wrath, I wrote my first story. It turned out to be 26k by the time I finished it 4 months later. The fic instantly became a hit, despite being some of the worst writing I have ever had the misfortune of creating. It was the best thing I had ever done up to that point. I love that story.

So anyway, BMC was my first _real_ fandom.

  1. How did you get into writing fanfic/creating fanart?



I’m so embarrassed. I get off-track so quickly. Read question 1 again, even though I know you won’t.

  1. Is SGA your main squeeze, or are you poly-fandom-ous?



I’m fairly new to fandom (2 years), but how it’s been is I basically have one giant fandom that consumes me each summer. It wanes down between fall to spring, and I have little mini-obsessions with fandoms I discover along the way. I get bored easily. I need variety. But the one main fandom is home base. I don’t usually read fic for my butterfly fandoms unless it’s by an author I know. I sometimes read HP fic, but the previous statement applies. For example, “Transfigurations” by Rheanna.

But my main fandoms, woah. I recently discovered how to download fic only my Kindle, and I created an SGA folder. It reached 200 fics a few days ago, and those are the ones I’ve _finished._ There are also three pages on my Kindle, and three more that I haven’t downloaded on my Marked For Later on AO3. It’s a bit of a problem. I haven’t read a book in a while. It’s because I like character-driven plot, but that’s a conversation for another day. There’s a tumblr post about it that explains and elaborates much more accurately if you _really_ want me to link it.

  1. What makes John and Rodney such an inspiring couple for you?



This question, gah. I know relationships don’t work like that, but they really are perfect for each other. I was poring over (read: stalking) some other people’s interviews from 2011 because I’m a little pathetic and I wanted to see if my favorite authors said anything. Which they did. It was a win.

I think a few of them said it best: John and Rodney foil each other. And they do it really fucking well. I could write so many analysis essays (hell, maybe I even will) detailing the nuances of their relationship. 

I think the best part is that, simply, they work in every conceivable situation. I mean, you’ve probably read the Girl Scout cookie AU. When Rodney’s cookie has a speech bubble above his head for the first time, you shriek and say, “It’s Rodney! Holy shit!” and then you thank the gods you don’t believe in that you’re sitting in the back row of class when they start having surprisingly in-character cookie sex. Or, you know, something like that. I’m not speaking from experience.

John erects emotional walls around himself like they’re going out of style (as I was writing this, I was going to write 1989, then I realized that _1984_ was probably better, then trashed the simile entirely), and Rodney just... blunders right through them. John’s POV is constantly cluttered with all of this whimsy, metaphorical bullshit, then Rodney enters the scene, starts complaining, and I go, _Oh, thank GOD, someone who finally says what they mean!_ It’s refreshing.

Oh, am I supposed to spout something canned? They, uh, have different hair colors and are the two white male leads. That’s how fandom works, right?

  1. Who's your favorite, John or Rodney (or both)? How come?



I get instinctively angry when I ask myself this question. It’s the same reaction as when I say that, objectively, Stargate Atlantis is a terrible show. Barring a few episodes, like _The Shrine._ And the 3x14 episode, I forget the name. Oh, _The Tao of Rodney._ Heh. That was a good episode.

So it’s to the surprise of no one when I say I love Rodney the best. There is absolutely no hesitation. It’s like kariye (I think, don’t quote me, it might have been pir8fancier; both excellent authors. What are you even doing here? Go read the entirety of their archives.) wrote, and I’m paraphrasing extremely badly: I always loved John first. Rodney came after. But then Rodney gave me another lens to view John, and I fell in love with John again. It’s John → Rodney → John. (I remember the arrows.)

It’s the same with me, except switch the names. I always had one eye on Rodney ever since he premiered in SG1 (ah, the thrill of antagonistic tension). I thought John was a little weird. Joe Flanigan is kind of ugly. Gasp! But then I read a shitload of fic, and most of it was from John’s POV, which makes me sad to no end, so if anyone wants to recc some excellent Rodney POV that’s not _OK Computer_ by Speranza, go right on ahead. In the show, Sheppard’s personality was kind of… flat. This was completely the showriters’ fault. It’s only the Flanigan’s complete inability to act as the directors wanted him to that created the dichotomy that made John Sheppard _interesting._ Reading fic from John’s POV made me fall in love with John because suddenly this guy had a personality? And his flaws were acknowledged, mocked, expanded on, and analyzed? And he was suddenly sexy as hell? Yes, puh-LEASE.

But viewing Rodney from John’s eyes… It made me realize just how special his character is. Sure, he’s abrasive, irritating, socially inept, and a million other negative personality traits. If I ever met Rodney in real life, I’d run screaming in the other direction. He’s a culmination of everything I fear I’ll become. Because I relate to Rodney, maybe too much. Smart, alienated by my peers, insensitive, anger management issues, nervous. Never been happy a day in my life. Not to mention a cocktail of arrogant and insecure that makes my few friends put their heads in their hands trying to figure me out. 

Basically exactly like Rodney. But in fic ( _not_ canon, god, what idiot came up with the idea that he should end up with Keller?), Rodney ends up happy. He finds love. He goes through adventures that rip him apart and ends up stronger for it. He finds a family who loves him. I idealize that concept. I want everything this unique fictionalized idea of Rodney (that I have solely in my head) has. Getting it through fiction over and over again helps me cope. It gives me hope. Seeing him happy makes me think that one day, I’ll be able to be happy too.

And through it all, Rodney remains, well, Rodney. No one tries to change his personality into someone he’s not. Everyone around me tries to tell me to change my personality because no one will like me the way I am. The thing is, I don’t want to. I _like_ who I am. In SGA, no one forces Rodney to be someone he’s not. And maybe that sounds egotistical, but I want people to love me _for_ my flaws, not in spite of them. To have my Sheppard turn to me and smirk and say, “Oh, McKay.”

Rodney changes through SGA. He’s objectively a terrible person when we meet him in SG1. By the end, he’s grown, he’s matured. I want his maturity: to end up a better version of myself. Yes, that’s why I think I love McKay.

  1. Pick a piece/story of yours that stands out for you. Give us links and tell us why!



I really like “and now he’s so devoid of color he don’t know what it means.” It’s on my AO3, rated Mature. It’s a high school AU and extremely close to my heart. I wish I could have fleshed it out more, but then I would have 200k words and no followers, because they would have unsubscribed to me just to not get any more goddamn emails whenever I go back to remove an adverb. In reality, I’m just lazy and I lose interest in fics really quickly. Sometimes it’s better to dash them off and fling them out into the void.

  1. Finish this sentence: John and Rodney walk into a bar…



and walk right the fuck out. It’s a lesbian bar. McKay's pretty sure that Sheppard doesn’t know how to read, and Sheppard is fine with letting McKay believe that. It was worth a try.

  1. What question do you wish we'd asked?



"Why do you think you missed the SGA train?"

Why, me from the past, I’m so glad you asked.

I feel like I really missed out not being in the SGA fandom during the 2000s. Not the fandom is dead by any means, but there isn't a whole lot going on. All of the cons were attended, the masterpieces were written, primers were compiled. And while it's so cool that I get to go and discover this all by myself, I just wish I could have been part of it during its establishment. The reason for this is me being too young-- I wasn't even on the internet during the mid 2000s. And a good portion of the fic is explicit, so, y'know. Don't want a child reading pornography.

The more I do research and lurk obsessively on people's livejournals, the more I feel sad. It's probably what historians and archeologists feel: like looking at something from the wrong end of the telescope. I look at the dates and everything is so far away and untouchable. And when I stalk people's profiles, I see that they've fallen out of fandom, either because of health issues or lack of interest or menopause. (I'm so young.) And I reach out for them: follow their tumblrs, on rare occasions check their twitters, but it feels like a lost cause. I missed my chance.

I know I will fall out of love with SGA eventually, and it makes my heart burn to admit it, but it's true. Right now everything is McShep, but just like Boyf riends and my other obsessions, this too will sadly come to pass. Maybe I'll hitch a ride onto a fandom that's budding into fruition. I really got lucky with _Be More Chill_. I started writing fic just as it got popular, and fell out of fandom when the show flopped on broadway. But really, SGA was the perfect storm: the culmination of fandom on the internet, and the Fandom That Ate Fandom. (I've done my research.) In a world where everything is being redone and remade over and over, I don't think I'll get that chance again.

**Author's Note:**

> A small part of me hopes that people will get inspired and do this too. I'd really love to read their opinions. I makes me happy to get to know authors. AO3 probably isn't the best for this, but it's too long to post on Tumblr and LJ is like the Roman Empire at the end.
> 
> If you do happen to do this, link it to me! Probably no one will, but I can hope.


End file.
